life

Boredom Is Not Empty: The Quiet Practice of Staying Put

Open journal with handwritten notes beside coffee, phone, and lit lamp
~ Rich Pascual ~ Leave a comment

The Prompt Bank asks about “the forgotten discipline of boredom” and why constant stimulation might stunt formation. My own field research is mostly waiting for the kettle to boil: I reach for my phone before the water has even remembered it is hot. The pause feels tiny. The reflex is not.

We do not have to make boredom noble. It can be uncomfortable, even painful. And it is not automatically a doorway to genius. But perhaps the first question is not “How do I get rid of this feeling?” It might be “What is this feeling telling me about the way I am living?”

A University of New Hampshire account of two small experiments describes participants who watched a brief boring video before returning to a divergent-thinking task. In those experiments, they sometimes produced more answers or more unique answers than people who watched an engaging video. That is interesting, not a universal law: the task was specific, and a few minutes of laboratory boredom are not the same as a hard season of life.

The caution matters. In a 2023 essay in Frontiers in Sociology, philosopher Josefa Ros Velasco includes “boredom makes us more creative” among the familiar claims about boredom that deserve scrutiny. So let’s not turn a dull afternoon into a wellness prescription. Sometimes the right move is to change the task, ask for help, or rest.

Still, constant stimulation can train a quick escape hatch. A quiet moment arrives; a screen appears. A difficult paragraph arrives; another tab opens. No single choice tells the whole story. Repeated often, though, the choices teach us what to do with the first hint of friction. We become practiced—not bad, just practiced—at leaving before we have noticed what is happening inside us.

Formation often happens in these unremarkable seconds. Try washing one dish without a video playing. Walk from the car to the door without filling the silence. Let the elevator ride be an elevator ride. Not as a challenge to win, and certainly not to prove you are more disciplined than the rest of us. Just notice the itch to fill the space. What are you hoping the next thing will do for you?

There is a useful distinction between making room for a pause and pretending every kind of boredom should be endured. If a routine is empty, perhaps it needs meaning or change. If a person is isolated or overwhelmed, “sit with it” may be the wrong counsel. The practice is attention, not stoicism: see the signal, then choose a response.

What happened: a few seconds with nothing demanding us. What it meant: maybe we were tired, maybe restless, maybe simply unused to quiet. What to carry forward: leave one small gap unfilled today, and listen before you reach. If boredom has something to say, we can at least let it finish the sentence.

Nostalgia Is Not Escape: A Spiritual Practice of Remembering

Vintage record player, handwritten letters, plants, and books on a wooden desk
~ Rich Pascual ~ Leave a comment

I have a small problem with the past: it keeps showing up in the present wearing my old clothes. A song from high school. The smell of rice cooking when everyone was still home. My father’s laugh before I understood how much I would miss it.

We call this nostalgia. For a long time, the word sounded like a warning label—sentimental, backward-looking, perhaps one step away from buying a decorative sign that says Good Vibes Only. But nostalgia can be more than an escape hatch. Used honestly, it can become a small spiritual practice: remembering where we have been so we can notice where we are.

That does not mean pretending the past was perfect. Nostalgia is not a courtroom in which every old year gets acquitted. It is closer to an examen of memory. We look back with affection and a little ache, asking: Who was there? What did I receive? What did I become?

Psychologists define nostalgia as “a sentimental longing for one’s past,” and the research is more interesting than the greeting-card version. In six experiments, researchers found that nostalgia can strengthen social connectedness—a sense of belonging and acceptance—and, through that connection, support self-continuity: the feeling that the person I was and the person I am are not complete strangers.

Another series of five studies, involving 1,074 participants, linked nostalgia with a stronger connection among past, present, and future selves. The authors also tested the relationship while accounting for rumination, which is different. Rumination circles the wound. Nostalgia, at its best, tells the larger story. The study’s findings suggest that remembering can help us build a coherent narrative rather than simply replay distress.

Here is the spiritual distinction I find useful: escape asks memory to remove me from today; remembrance asks memory to return me to today with deeper roots.

When I play an old song, I am not required to move back into 1987. Thank goodness. The hair alone would be an act of penance. I can let the song remind me of friendships, risks, and ordinary mercies. I can notice what endured. I can grieve what did not. I can send a message to someone who helped make that chapter good.

That is why nostalgia can be communal rather than merely private. The American Psychological Association has noted that nostalgic memories often include the presence and support of family or friends, helping people feel connected across distance and loss. The point is not to worship the past. It is to receive its witnesses.

So, what happened? We remembered. What did it mean? The memory showed us that our lives are made of relationships, not just milestones. What can we carry forward? Perhaps one honest memory, held gently, then turned into gratitude or a phone call.

Try it tonight: choose one memory that still feels warm. Ask what it gave you, who shared it, and what it asks of you now. Then come back to the room you are in. Nostalgia should not be a door that locks behind us. It can be a window—open just long enough to let some light reach the present.

What Dad Jokes Know About Market Timing

Abstract financial chart with rising candlesticks and glowing orbital lines
~ Rich Pascual ~ Leave a comment

I have a theory about dad jokes: they are less about being funny than about arriving at exactly the wrong—therefore right—moment.

My children can see one coming from three rooms away. I set up the question. I pause. I deliver the pun. They groan with the weary dignity of people who have been asked to inspect one more “dad joke” portfolio. And yet, if I tell it too early, it dies. Too late, and the room has moved on. The joke needs a little runway.

That is timing. Not stopwatch timing. Relational timing.

A joke works by asking the listener to build one interpretation, then nudging them into another. A 2023 study in Frontiers in Psychology describes this as a kind of incongruity-resolution process: the punchline changes the frame, and the mind has to catch up. The laugh is often the sound of that catch-up.

There is something humbling here for a man who once thought a well-timed joke meant simply waiting three seconds before the punchline. The real question is not, “Have I found the perfect delay?” It is, “Is this person ready for this turn?”

Markets ask a similar question, only with more zeros and fewer forgiving teenagers.

Every investor wants to buy before the good news and sell before the bad news. That is the financial version of landing the punchline before anyone has heard the setup. Sometimes it works. More often, the moment you think you have mastered the rhythm, the market changes the joke.

Vanguard notes that the best and worst market days tend to cluster closely together, which means an investor who steps out to avoid the bad days may also miss the rebound. In one Vanguard illustration, a $100,000 investment in a balanced 60/40 portfolio grew to $865,000 over roughly 28 years if it stayed invested; missing the 25 best days reduced ending wealth by about $520,000. The example assumes no fees, taxes, or additional cash flows, and it is not a promise about the future. It is a picture of how quickly “I’ll get back in later” can become a very expensive pause. Read the details in Vanguard’s analysis.

This does not mean every joke deserves a laugh, or every portfolio deserves blind loyalty. A dad joke can be kind, or it can be a hostage situation. A portfolio still needs a plan, diversification, and the occasional honest review. Vanguard’s separate market-timing guidance makes the narrower point: nobody reliably knows in advance which days will be the best or worst.

My fatherly lesson is therefore modest. Keep the setup. Know your audience. Leave room for the turn. In comedy, patience gives the other person a chance to arrive at the joke. In investing, patience gives your plan a chance to survive your mood.

What happened? A pun created a tiny surprise. What did it mean? Timing is less about control than attention. What can I carry forward? Before I reach for the perfect moment, I can ask whether a faithful, ordinary rhythm might be wiser.

And if that sounds like a joke, please wait three seconds before groaning.

When MTV Taught a Generation to See

Retro collage of vinyl records, cassette tapes, radio dials, and dancing silhouettes
~ Rich Pascual ~ Leave a comment

At 12:01 a.m. on August 1, 1981, a new cable channel introduced itself with a sentence that sounded half like a concert emcee and half like a dare: “Ladies and gentlemen, rock and roll.” Then came the Buggles’ “Video Killed the Radio Star.” Britannica records the moment as MTV’s debut, and the first music video ever broadcast on the channel.

The opening sequence had an almost comic amount of ambition: space imagery, a moon, an MTV flag. The little network wanted to make music feel like an event. It did not yet have the reach to match the drama. The initial broadcast was available only to a small number of cable households in New Jersey, and distribution was hard to come by. NPR’s account of the first 100 videos notes that plenty of music-industry people expected the idea to fail.

That is part of the charm of the first year. MTV was not yet a monument. It was a strange little experiment that asked a strange little question: what if a song did not merely sound like something, but looked like something?

Radio had already taught us to carry music around in our heads. MTV added faces, clothes, rooms, gestures, choreography, and story. The five original video jockeys—Martha Quinn, Nina Blackwood, Alan Hunter, J.J. Jackson, and Mark Goodman—did not just introduce songs. They helped make the channel feel like a place you could visit. The screen became a kind of hallway where music, fashion, and personality kept bumping into one another.

The effect was bigger than a new way to promote records. A Newcastle University history of MTV describes how heavy rotation made visual image central to mainstream pop. A hit single now arrived with a look: the lighting, the jacket, the dance, the fantasy of the artist’s life. A song could become a short film, a commercial, and a little piece of mythology at the same time.

That formed people. Not in the grand, sermon-on-the-mount sense. More like a daily drip. We learned what confidence looked like before we had language for it. We learned that reinvention might involve a haircut, a hallway, a leather jacket, or simply the nerve to appear on camera as someone new. Some of us also learned to confuse a polished image with a whole person. Formation is rarely pure; it is usually a bundle of gifts and distortions.

And MTV’s early visual imagination had real blind spots. The Smithsonian’s history notes that the channel’s rock-oriented programming featured very few Black artists in its early years, a limitation challenged publicly by David Bowie and others. A truthful nostalgia keeps the wonder and the omission in the same frame.

So, what happened? A tiny cable experiment made sight part of the song. What did it mean? For a generation, music became a visual language for identity, aspiration, and belonging. What can we carry forward? Notice what is teaching you to see—and remember that every image, however thrilling, is still only one angle on a human life.

Ikigai, Translated Honestly: It Is Not Your Perfect Job

Moss-covered stepping-stone path beside a pond in a Japanese garden
~ Rich Pascual ~ Leave a comment

I first met ikigai on a corporate wellness poster. Four circles leaned into one another: what you love, what you are good at, what the world needs, and what you can be paid for. In the middle sat a small, confident promise. Find this intersection and your life will click. Even the diagram looked well-rested.

The trouble is that this is not quite what ikigai means in Japanese. The word is often translated as “a reason for being,” but that translation can sound grander and more career-shaped than the thing itself. The Government of Japan describes it as something that brings value and joy to life. It can be a person—your child, a friend—or an activity, such as work or a hobby. It is less a job title than a felt sense that living is worthwhile.

That wider meaning matters. A word like “purpose” can make us imagine a mission statement, complete with a logo. Ikigai may be much more ordinary: tending a garden, making lunch for people you love, showing up for a club, learning a craft badly for three years before getting slightly less bad. The point is not that these activities are secretly monetizable. The point is that they can make a life feel inhabited.

The academic picture is appropriately humbling. A University of Pennsylvania review of psychological research notes that scholars still lack one consistent definition. Its useful threads are personally valued experiences, authentic relationships, and a sense of direction. That sounds less like a personality quiz and more like a life slowly teaching us what gives it weight.

Which brings us back to the famous four-circle graphic. It is a handy worksheet for thinking about work. It is not an ancient Japanese map. Marc Winn’s own account says that in 2014 he joined the word ikigai to Andrés Zuzunaga’s existing purpose diagram. That is a perfectly legitimate creative mash-up. It just should not be presented as a literal translation of a Japanese tradition. A foreign word can add mystery to a framework; it cannot make the framework native.

There is real reason to take the concept seriously, without turning it into a productivity hack. In a large Japanese cohort study of 73,272 adults, researchers found that people who reported having ikigai had lower all-cause mortality during follow-up. The authors described an association with longevity, not proof that a cheerful hobby causes a longer life. The PubMed record is a useful antidote to both cynicism and hype.

So, what happened? A modest Japanese word traveled into the English-speaking self-help world, picked up a four-circle diagram, and became a career brand. What did it mean? The word itself remained more spacious than the brand: value and joy can arrive through people, practices, and small loyalties, not only through a vocation. What can we carry forward? Instead of asking, “What is my one perfect purpose?” try asking, “What made life feel quietly worth living this week?” Then notice the answer before turning it into a business plan.

The Examen and the Expense Report: A Better Way to End the Day

Open journal with handwritten notes, lit candle, smartphone, books, and cup of tea on wooden table at dusk
~ Rich Pascual ~ Leave a comment

I have two end-of-day rituals, at least in theory. One is spiritual: the examen, that quiet Ignatian habit of looking back over the day with God. The other is financial: opening the bank app and asking where the money went. One sounds holy. The other sounds like a small punishment invented by a spreadsheet.

But they have more in common than I expected. Both are practices of attention. Both ask us to stop guessing and look honestly at the day we actually lived—not the day we intended to live, or the budget we intended to keep.

The daily review is not a courtroom

The Jesuits describe the Ignatian Examen as a prayerful review: become aware of God’s presence, give thanks, notice what happened, and look toward tomorrow. The point is not to produce a perfect scorecard. It is to become more awake to where we were alive, distracted, generous, anxious, or quietly carried.

A financial review works best with the same posture. Start with the facts: the grocery run, the subscription renewal, the restaurant charge that seemed harmless until it joined its twelve little cousins. Then ask a gentler question than “What is wrong with me?” Ask: “What was I seeking?” Convenience? Rest? Belonging? A reward after a long day? The numbers are not a moral verdict. They are clues.

Attention turns into agency

The Consumer Financial Protection Bureau recommends tracking spending for at least two weeks, or even a month, so patterns become visible. That is a wonderfully unglamorous form of freedom. You cannot choose what to change until you can see what is happening.

This is where the spiritual and financial reviews meet. In the examen, I might notice that a certain conversation left me impatient. In the ledger, I might notice that the same kind of day ends with delivery food and late-night shopping. Neither observation is the whole story. Together, they might reveal a need for a better pause before I reach for the easiest relief.

And “better” does not have to mean dramatic. Investor.gov suggests keeping track of income and expenses and including savings in the picture. For tonight, that could mean writing down three purchases, one gratitude, and one small adjustment for tomorrow. No overhaul. No financial monasticism. Just a little light.

What happened, what it meant, what to carry forward

What happened? I spent the day making choices, some deliberate and some automatic. What did it mean? My attention—and my money—moved toward whatever felt urgent, comforting, or important in the moment. What can I carry forward? A five-minute review, done without self-contempt, can turn a blur into a pattern. A pattern can become a choice.

Tonight, before closing the banking app, try one question from each practice: “Where did I receive a gift today?” and “What did my spending say mattered?” The answers may not match perfectly. That is not failure. That is information—and information is a decent place to begin again.